The punishment continues,

If I got a rand for each time I have wished to die. Maybe it’s due to the festivities all around me, reiterating family, friends and love that lately I think more and more about no existing at all. No part of my life externally is going in any direction of my choosing. I just … Continue reading The punishment continues,

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How do you want to be buried and remembered?

When my martenal grandmother died in 2021, due to Covid, a lot of things went left. There was high mortality in the country as Covid was claiming at least a 1000 lives daily, hospitals and funeral undertakers were inundated, people were afraid to visit one another, burials needed to take place within 3 days from … Continue reading How do you want to be buried and remembered?

Happiest me

Now here’s a contradiction. Nothing has changed, my circumstances remain completely unchanged BUT I feel pretty. I grew up incredibly meek and insecure, not always, but certainly around people I found intimidating, I would shrink. I was never popular, never the prettiest, not the smartest.. but somehow I would be around people like that, either … Continue reading Happiest me

Anxious struggle: Me vs unemployment vs family

Another decline again today. What’s new? I get at least 3 a day. it’s probably the 20th this month. A thousandth in the last year. I cant catch a break! Been applying so much I can’t remember when I applied for what or how, email, websites, career sites, drop offs, you name it. Initially I … Continue reading Anxious struggle: Me vs unemployment vs family